Omoide
by Aikawa Fuuko
Summary: ...Although I doubt anyone would ever have the chance to read this stupid diary, I still think I need to introduce myself. My name is Sakurazuka Seishirou. I am thirteen years old now..." This is the diary of Sakurazuka Seishirou.


A/N: This is my attempt to have a closer look in Seishirou's childhood and his real feelings, or the way his feelings develop through many years. It will follow a very long timeline, from when he was a thirteen-year-old kid to his death in X. 

Err, can anyone tell me what genre a diary has?

Disclaimer: CLAMP.

_~*~ Omoide ~*~_

August 23rd, 1978.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I honestly don't.  I just feel that I need someone to talk to. Maybe you will ask why I don't talk to my parents or my siblings, or any other relatives. The answer is I don't have any siblings or relatives. I don't have a father. And my mother…You don't know her.

Okay. Although I doubt that anyone will have the chance to read this stupid diary, I still think I need to introduce myself. My name is Sakurazuka Seishirou. I am thirteen years old now, but soon I will become the future thirteenth Clan Head, as my mother said. Of course, it means I will also become the thirteenth Sakurazukamori.

You wonder what the Sakurazukamori is. They are assassins. Yes, I will become an assassin. Most people freak out when they hear a thirteen-year-old kid says those words. I'm not joking. I'm from one of the most famous clans of assassins in Japan. My mother is an assassin too.

I am not going to go on babbling about my Clan, because they are boring. I write this diary for another reason.

Oh, sorry for the pause, my mother just called me. She wanted to show me something in the garden, and it came out to be another job of hers. That corpse was gross. I don't think she needed to chop him off like that. If I am an assassin in the future, I will never use that way of killing. It dirties my clothes. Oh blood…and that was my new shirt…

Writing is fun, I must admit that. Normally I don't talk much (yeah, as if I have anyone to talk to), so writing is a good solution. People don't talk doesn't mean they don't have a lot in their head, you know. And just babbling is fun. Yes, I've just realized that I've been babbling for twenty minutes. Hmm, this is my diary; no one will read it, so why bother anyway?

So, diary it is. What's special today? Nothing much. I went to school as usual. Those kids keep annoying the hell out of me with their jokes. They paired me up with another stupid girl. What's wrong with them? I just hope they can become Tree Food in the near future. Err no, that's wrong. Mother says I can't kill innocent people. Actually, it's not that we _can't_, but we _shouldn't. Work is work. She says strange things sometimes…Not that I care. She has always been strange._

My mother showed me another job of hers and some special skills today. Well, they were not that interesting to learn as they sound, but I still need to concentrate. It's my job in the future anyway. I wonder when she will start teaching me making maboroshi. 

I like maboroshi very much. They are beautiful and multiform. You can create everything you like with a maboroshi. But it requires lots of experience and skills, that's why my mother hasn't taught me about it yet. I will be waiting till that day.

Hmm, maybe that's it for today. I'm not the kind of people who sit all day and go on babbling about life sucks and all. Don't expect me to write again soon. I will only write when I have nothing else to do.

Seishirou.

November 22nd, 1978.

I still don't understand why I keep writing this stuff.

Anyway, it has been, what, three months since the last time I wrote. Well, I did say that I wouldn't write very often, didn't I?

Today is kinda more special than the other boring days in my life, because today is my…birthday. You don't turn thirteen every year. 

Actually, it doesn't really matter; I've never celebrated my birthday before anyway. I'm an onmyouji, it means I don't mark my birthday. It's dangerous for an onmyouji to let people know their real birthday. They can be cursed if they accidentally slip out the information, my mother told me so.

Back to the main point. Today is special because my mother _did_ remember it was my birthday. And her gift for me was the first lesson about making maboroshi. 

I'm glad she finally decided to teach me about it. The lesson was difficult. I will not go into details because it's very complicated. Generally, I tried very hard but I never succeeded in the end. My mother just smiled and said that it could take at least four months to create an average maboroshi.

I don't want to wait that long. I want to be powerful like her. I want to surpass myself. I don't want to be like a normal onmyouji. I will definitely succeed in a shorter amount of time. I want to be a great onmyouji and I will become one.

Seishirou.

January 1st, 1979.

Well, another year has come. I hope this year I will finish my first high-level maboroshi. My mother didn't seem that she believed me though. She just looked at me strangely when I told her that. I will prove to her that I am different from a normal unskilled young onmyouji.

I have managed to create a small maboroshi. It's still not perfect yet, so I haven't told my mother about it. I will when I finish fixing a few more small problems. When I tried to sweep an illusion of a blooming camellia upon a dead one, the flower only bloomed in three minutes, and then it slowly turned back into the image of a dead flower. I guess I still need to practice more.

Uh, mother is calling. What is it this time? Oh hell, I forgot to erase my aura after that experiment. She must have sensed my magic in the garden…

Seishirou.

January 28th, 1979.

I did it. My first real maboroshi was completed today. I told her that I would make it, and I actually did. 

That night when she called me out, I thought she wanted to talk to me about my small experiments, but she didn't say a thing about them. However I understood that she knew. That was why I made that promise to her, that I would finish my first maboroshi in this month. And I actually succeeded.

Today is another special day to me. After I showed her my achievement, she just smiled and led me into the house. Her smile was quite strange though. And she did a thing I thought she would never do. She told me about my father. I have never asked, but she still told me.

He was the eleventh Sakurazukamori. I am not very surprised by that fact though. You might have guessed it already. My mother killed him to become the next Sakurazukamori. It's a kinda strange tradition. 

She said I would also have to kill her in the future to become the next Sakurazukamori. I'm not sure if she was serious about letting me kill her that easily…Maybe it would be the last test of my ability. I never tried fighting my mother before…but I'm sure it would be very dangerous.

You may be expecting me to tell the story of my 'father'. I'm afraid I won't do that. All I can say is that man loved my mother. (It's strange that a Sakurazukamori could love. I don't understand that. We are supposed to be emotionless. However, my mother said I will understand when I am older.) 

I feel that I don't have the right to tell or judge that story of hers. Though I'm not sure if she 'loved' him, I think she really respects that man. Maybe someday, I will tell the story…

It doesn't change anything that now I know about my father. It doesn't change a thing. I don't understand why she told me that story. I don't care. But maybe, she felt that she needed to tell me, to live again her own memories. I respect her.

Seishirou.

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

A/N: Please let me know what you think about this. I tried very hard to demonstrate a young Seishirou. Please remember that he is still a child in this and he still has some emotions of a young boy. He's not totally emotionless because he hasn't become the Sakurazukamori yet.


End file.
